The first time I met two of the most sincere people on earth, one kicked me in the face and the other barfed between my legs. Since then I’ve never judged a person by a first impression.
Having stitches in your scalp in like having a little fairy sit on your head and pull 20 to 30 of the hairs on your head individually, for 24/7.
So I’m sitting at Coffee Bean doing some writing. I periodically look up to see the blue skies trying to squeeze their way through the black clouds. Damn, it better not start raining again. I just remembered I walked here and didn’t drive.
I see a person at the table next to me start to pack up his stuff. Oh perfect, it’s a table in the corner next to an outlet and I’ve got about 20% juice left on my battery. Great timing. I grab my laptop and I spot a guy outside walking towards the front door with a laptop bag. Ruh roh.
The guy walks in and I’ve just put my laptop down on the other table. He continues walking over to my new table and stares at me for a moment. I look up at him, raise an eyebrow and glare back.
Really? He was no where near the table and I can tell by his stance that he’s gay. I haven’t had enough of my vanilla latte to deal with an attitude from a bitchy fruit right now.
Luckily he backs down and takes the table I’ve just walked away from.
I’m settling into my new table, laptop plugged in, headphones on with my iTunes set to loop all The Beatles albums. I open up the project I’m working on and I’m well into my writing groove, blocking out the cackling around me and the sounds of blenders making ice blendeds, when some kook walks up to me.
He’s gotta be in his 60’s easily. He’s wearing aviators, a black leather jacket, a baggy set of jeans and sporting a salt and pepper mullet.
He puts his drink down on my table with some of the whip cream from his latte spilling onto my table. I flip my screen down halfway to make sure it hasn’t sprayed on my laptop. I look up at him and pull a pod out of my ear.
“Excuse me, I have a new Facebook page and was wondering if you would Facebook me and add me as a friend.” he says pulling down his aviators.
My first reaction is to say “Are you out of your damn mind.” I’ve never seen this guy in my life and I STILL haven’t had enough of my latte to deal with this crackpot.
But as he’s glaring down at me, I can see he’s got crazy eye, whoa. I’m not about to fuck around with this guy. He’s got “chop your limbs up and throw you in a dumpster behind Red Rock” written all over him.
“Sorry, I only add people I’m friends with.” I say, putting the pod back in.
He stares at me dead in the eye for a few moments and I stare back, wondering if he’s going to punch me in the face.
After a few moments he says “okay” and approaches the girl sitting at the table next to me about 3 feet away and throws the same line on her. She politely says no thank you and he walks off to the patio, sits down and stares out at the traffic.
“Here comes the sun, doo doo doo doo..and it’s alright..”
The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all, is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you that you love, well that’s just fabulous.
Reading back on old journals of my teenage self is essentially reading pages of run on sentences filled with “like”, “and then he said..and then she said”, with a period found only at the bottom of each page. My head is spinning. I can’t believe I used to talk like that.
But it captures the essence of who I was, a squealing pubescent piglet.
I’m enjoying every minute of writing this book :)

Heart.